So I Wrote a Book...

Photo: Jennifer E. Miller 2019

So I Wrote a Book...

Since the fourth grade I've wanted to be an author. I've made my dream come true--I wrote a book! An Italian Thanksgiving can be purchased directly from me or from Amazon.

An Italian Thanksgiving focuses around an Italian-American grandmother, Nonna and her grandchildren. While they have obvious love for each other as they are family, there is a generational gap which the grandkids want to close by offering to have a potluck style Thanksgiving dinner. Nonna reluctantly agrees, but the day doesn't go as planned. In fact, it's a disaster. Throughout the story Nonna's thought drift back to her childhood in Italy and she slowly begins to appreciate why her grandchildren want to help her. In turn, her grandchildren discover more about themselves through her as they try to smooth out every mishap that goes on.

The story blends sentiment and humor, and you certainly don't need to be Italian to appreciate the story.

I'm excited to share it and many of my friends and family are excited to read it. I'm excited that everyone is excited about my book.

Common questions I get asked are: How long did it take to write it? Is this about your own family? How did you come up with the story ideas? Was getting it published difficult?

How long did it take to write it?
It took me about two years from start to finish to get An Italian Thanksgiving done. I wrote the first chapter as part of a class assignment in my Advanced Creative Writing class at Spokane Community College. I thought it would be a good short story, which quickly turned into a longer short story, which turned into a novella (short novel), which turned into a novel. The characters and plot evolved as I wrote, shaping the storyline. Of course, part of the writing process is taking breaks when the writer's block hits. When I was stuck, I put the story away and worked on something else. This generally allows me to come back with a fresher perspective. After finishing the original manuscript, there were multiple rounds of edits. I don't mean proofreading; I mean filling in story gaps and mismatched actions. For example, I said chocolate brownies in one chapter and later called them fudge brownies. Or I said in one chapter that it started snowing, but three chapters later also said it started snowing. Writers can't possibly remember everything.

I also belong to a writers group who help pinpoint sections that are confusing or could use some expansion or oomph. Many times, writers know what they are trying to convey, but it's not always clear to a reader.

Is this about your own family?
Yes and no. I used my own experiences from my upbringing to flavor the scenes, but An Italian Thanksgiving is fiction. Many of the characters' personalities were inspired and combined from family members' personalities, but for the most part their traits evolved along with the plot. It's fun to have the ability to bring characters to life with words.

How did you come up with the story idea?
Since An Italian Thanksgiving sprouted from a college writing assignment, there was probably a prompt I followed; although I can't remember what it was. Many times, the plot evolves as I write and one scene follows after another.

My favorite part to write was chapter five when Gregory, the oldest grandson, drives Nonna and her sister, Aunt Carmela, to the butcher shop. The bickering that ensues between Nonna and Aunt Carmela was directly drawn from personal experience, so it seems authentic. I loved creating the butcher character, Mr. Fetuccio. He's a bit dramatic with his cheerfulness, which makes a trip to the butcher so much more interesting.

I also enjoyed writing chapter eight where Nonna and Aunt Carmela are preparing apple pies. There's a part in the scene where Nonna remembers her family tying ribbons to their luggage for the voyage to the US. I don't want to give too much away, but it connects back to the apples the women are working with.

Another enjoyable character to "build" was Julian, another grandson. He is a jokester with a cool collected attitude about everything, including the potluck. He doesn't understand what the big deal is. He shows his softer side in chapter ten when he comforts his sister, Felicita, about her anxiety over Thanksgiving.

There's a scene at the end with Nonna holding one of granddaughter's hands. Writing that scene got me all choked up because I spent time with my grandma holding her hands, including her last hours.

Was publishing it difficult?
It was challenging. I self-published which means I have control over the cover design, price, and marketing. That also means I'm responsible for the cover design, price, and marketing. I will be honest: writing An Italian Thanksgiving was the easy part! I don't know how to design book covers, and frankly not interest in learning how cause that's not my thing, so I enlisted the help of a local printer who also does design work. Finding an existing image wasn't easy because I wanted something very unique and specific. I ended up hiring my daughter's art teacher to paint the cover. The printer scanned it in and gave me the preliminary cover design with colors and fonts. Of course, I tweaked and adjusted as necessary.

Then there's writing the summary on the back cover. This was hard! How do I write about the story without giving too much of it away? Ugh! I loathed this process and many times wondered if it would be easier to just type "just buy my book because it's awesome." I chipped away and was finally satisfied with something. Since this is my first novel, I included an about the author section. I hadn't originally planned to put a photo of myself on my book because it seemed vain, but my name is so common I figured I better at least look the Italian part so readers are aware I know what I'm talking about. The photo I chose wasn't anything special as far as photography goes (it was an iPhone selfie), but the necklace I'm wearing is an Italian good luck charm. In addition, I took the photo sitting at my writing spot. To avoid the photo dilemma, I could've use an alternate name, but I didn't feel I had anything to hide and there is a sense of pride seeing my own name on a book; especially my first one.

The last thing on the back cover is the ISBN barcode. ISBN stand for International Standard Book Cover. It's a unique barcode which is needed for every format. I needed two: one for the paperback and another for the ebook. If An Italian Thanksgiving was available in hardcover or audio format, those need their own ISBN as well. If I wanted the ISBNs registered to me, there is only one place to purchase them; and they're pricey. A single ISBN is $125.00. (Yep, you read that right.) I needed two, but I could purchase a block of ten for $295.00. There is a way to purchase a reused barcode for much cheaper, but then it's registered to whoever it was originally purchased rather than myself. Plus, I can't use it to publish on Amazon.

As far as the interior goes, the printer formatted the interior. He copied a lemon from the cover and placed it at the beginning of each chapter which was a nice touch. In fact, I wouldn't have even thought of it.

I got the first paperback print run of An Italian Thanksgiving from the printer. Once he provided the necessary files, I uploaded them to Amazon. I imputed the components, set the price, and voila! my paperback and ebook are on Amazon. Well, not instantly, exactly. It takes a couple days to run through the quality control process. Then I had to email the powers that be to link the two versions. Ever notice when you view a book on Amazon there's multiple purchase options: paperback, hardcover, ebook? Yeah, I wanted my book to do that, too. They are supposed to link automatically after 72 hours, but a week later I asked customer service to fix it.

After all of the above is completed, I have to figure out how to sell An Italian Thanksgiving. So far, it's word of mouth. Sales and marketing are not something I enjoy. It's weird saying to people "hey, I wrote a book" because I feel like I'm actually saying "hey, I wrote a book--buy it."

In a nutshell, there's a lot more to publishing than meets the eye. It takes time, money, and guts. Putting my writing out there makes me feel vulnerable. What if people don't like it? The bestseller lists, book clubs, and breakout sensations are focused in the lime light. They're are the ones talked about and discussed, and those authors' future books are picked up instantly by big publishers. While I'm confident I wrote a good story, I'm not so full of myself that I think it's automatically deserving of being picked up by a publisher with a six figure advance (but I can dream, right?). So I'm back to humbly promoting my book myself and hoping that there are a few readers who will appreciate my hobby. Don't forget to pick up your copy and enjoy the story.


Copyright 2019 Jennifer E. Miller

When the GPS Says “Make a U-Turn,” Start Panicking

Photo: Jennifer E. Miller 2018

When the GPS Says “Make a U-Turn,” Start Panicking

By,

Jennifer E. Miller

Many drivers rely on GPS navigation systems nowadays to get them to their destination quickly and efficiently. Gone are the days of straining to read maps in the spotlight of the car’s dome light, only to find the desired exit’s number has disappeared into a folded crease. Simply plug an address into a James Bond-like computerized screen and voila! A personal assistant, let’s call it Agent Q, instructs drivers exactly where to turn, and even provides an expected arrival time. Missed a turn onto such-and-such avenue? No problem, Agent Q will reroute things appropriately with instructions to turn on a nearby side street instead, reconnecting you to such-and-such avenue. A detour, of sorts.

Occasionally, however, there isn’t an alternate street within close proximity. Here is when Agent Q says the proverbial “turn around when possible.” This is generally not cause for concern. Pull the vehicle over to the side of the road and, when safe to do so, make a U-turn in the opposite direction. Travel is corrected and continues as normal.

Such matters are complicated, however, when traveling on an isolated Canadian highway, intending to use the junction and merge onto the larger Trans-Canada Highway. For Americans, driving in Canada isn’t much different than the USA. We drive on the right, use the same (or very similar) laws, and since most cars are now equipped with automatic headlights, there’s no concern for that, either.* However, there’s still the trivial annoyances such as paying for gasoline by the liter, mentally converting KM/H to MPH, and finding the English words on bilingual English/French signs.

With the intent to head east on Trans-Canada Highway, you may come across some very worn directional signs. Combine that with 100 KM/H speeds, to an American, l’Est look an awful lot like west. By process of elimination, l’Ouest must be east. Steering onto the on-ramp, you drive your merry way.

“Turn around when possible.”

There may have been numerous places to flip a U-ey on the smaller highway, but on the Trans-Can it’s a bit more difficult; largely due to the fact there’s a cement center divider. No worries, just find a spot on the highway where it’s absent. Surely, the highway engineers didn’t spend their government’s money dividing the entire road’s length in this manner. Probably just a few miles or so.

“Turn around when possible.”

Yes, thank you, Agent Q, the driver is quite aware of that.

Another few miles and still no sign of a turn around possibility. A small town must be coming up somewhere along the route. Let’s check our GPS screen. There’s one; only 100 KM away.

Quick math: Traveling at 100 KM/H divided by a distance of 100 KM, equals—an hour’s drive. Now what?

“Turn around when possible.”

Shut up, Agent Q!

A glance at the gas gauge, convert estimated remaining gallons to liters, and calculate to estimated remaining kilometers on existing supply brings the present situation to: the-car-isn’t-going-to-make-it-to-the-next-town.

Shit.

There are a variety of options presented in this dilemma:

1) Keep driving until you find a space between the cement dividers.

2) Drive the wrong way along the shoulder, up the on ramp, and avoid a head-on collision and/or angry rage-filled drivers while nonchalantly recorrecting to Agent Q’s driving path.

3) Continue saying “shit” over and over in hopes that the road gods will magically transport you onto the correct roadway.

Bank that options 1 or 2 are the logical alternatives. However, several minutes have passed and by now you are ten plus miles from the interchange. Option 2 means driving against traffic for a rather long time. That means Option 1 is best—

Oh my god! There just went a space in the cement dividers!

Now what?

Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. 

There must be another turn around spot. What if there isn’t?

Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. 

Deep breath—exhale.

“Turn around when possible.”

At this point, you may be verbally abusive to Agent Q. He can handle it. But for you, the real possibility of driving until stranded begins to set in. There isn’t much else but wait out the inevitable.

Another ten miles or so pass when something up ahead catches the watchful eye of a worried driver. The top of the cement dividers, aligned one after the other, creates a fluid line. In an upcoming section, it appears to be broken. Could it be: an exit to freedom?

You slow down, ignore the annoyed honks, and rejoice. Flipping on the blinker, you squeeze the car through the opening. Turning around has been successfully completed.

Forgetting any nasty words exchanged with you, Agent Q politely informs you of your upcoming route and exit. At the junction, though, are those weathered bilingual guide signs.

"Turn around when possible."


*(If you’re old enough to remember, the joke was that those driving with headlights on during daytime must be Canadian as it was rumored headlights are required law 24/7.)

Copyright 2019 Jennifer E. Miller