Flash Fiction Friday: Alternative Fishing Methods Part I

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Alternative Fishing Methods Part I

Regulation Restrictions

By,

Jennifer E. Miller

Imagine the Department of Fish and Wildlife (DFW) has suspended the spring salmon run because fish counts have dropped. Although, the DFW has agreed to allow catch and release, that nonsense is reserved for the sport of fly fishing. To make matters worse, the river originates in another state where fish counts are stable, even thriving. With no restrictions there, that state’s residents fish salmon to the extreme, lessening the number of them available downriver and out of state. What are fishermen, who have already purchased licenses and permits, to do?

Load up and go fishing anyway is a possibility, but poaching is generally frowned upon. Ax that option.

There’s fishing in neighboring state where it is still allowed. That means spending an exorbitant amount of money on out of state licenses and permits, transportation, and lodging. This normally wouldn’t matter except significant others must be consulted dooming this idea to ever evolve beyond a fantasy.

The final option is to pray for a miracle. This means a subconscious collaborative effort of the unhappy fishermen to dream up something along the lines of “please just make the salmon show up on my doorstep.” The fishermen go to sleep, all wishing for a miracle.

Morning comes and with it the normal routine, sans leaving for the river. Groggy fishermen listen to the news while sipping steaming coffee, waiting for the beverage to kickstart their day. They hear the reporter on television spat something about spring floods…river overflows…aquatic wildlife on roadways and fields. Snapping their heads to the screen is a video of a seemingly impossible scenario. Flapping their way over floodwaters are salmon, making a desperate attempt to return to their hatchery birthplace.

Running outside, the fishermen examine their front yards. As though a higher power has answered, floodwaters are everywhere and with it brings salmon, squirming and jumping their way through the fake river. Throwing on galoshes and waders, the flummoxed but excited fishermen dash out the door with nets in hand.

Technically, front yards aren’t the river, so DFW regulations can go out the window. The fish are swimming, no trespassing, on private property and now the fishermen must do whatever it takes to keep them from destroying it. After all, who knows what sort of damage a fish on land can do. Floodwater is of no concern, whatsoever; it will all dry out—eventually. But can you imagine the ruts in the grass cause by spawning salmon? Might as well have moles.

Sloshing through the marshy front yards, they scoop up the leaping salmon one by one in their nets. Once a sizable stack of fish has been collected, the fishermen trudge back into their homes. No photos are taken because the legality of this new-found fishing practice is questionable at minimum. The fish are quietly filleted, vacuum sealed, and placed in the freezer.

In the next few days, the floodwaters recede, the river returns to normal levels, and the land eventually dries back out. However, the fish count unexpectedly lowers again, and DFW continues the salmon fishing ban for the remainder of the season. The fishermen maintain their secrecy of their new, alternative workaround fishing method, happy the fish did in fact show up practically on their doorstep.